Port's replacment
by HaloGoji75
Summary: After multiple complaints from students, Ozpin was forced to fire Professor Port. Unfortunately, he found a replacement.


Ozpin sighed in disappointment. After multiple letters of complaint from students, he was forced to let Professor Port go. Apparently, they didn't like Port's random stories or the lack of teaching in his class. So, he had to be fired, much to Ozpin's dismay. Who would binge watch MST3K with him now? Glynda thought the show was childish, Obleck would constantly bring up useless trivia, Ironwood hated the show for making fun of his favorite movies, and Qrow's laugh was way to obnoxious to tolerate, even for Ozpin. Port was the only one who appreciated the show just as much as he did. The headmaster leaned back in his chair, pondering a way to fix this. The only way was to somehow get the students to want Port back, but what could he possibly do to ensure that?

Suddenly, an idea formed in his head. Ozpin smiled wickedly as he picked up the phone near his desk and dialed an unknown number. He waited a few moments before someone answered.

"Hello?" Asked the voice on the phone.

"Greetings, old friend." Ozpin replied.

"Ozpin! How've you been lately?"

"Just fine." Ozpin said. "I've called you today because I would like a favor."

"Alright."

"You see, I am currently understaffed and in need of a new teacher." Ozpin explained. "I was wondering if you'd be kind enough as to send your assistant over to teach Grimm anatomy."

The man didn't respond for a few moments.

"Are you sure?" He asked. "His methods are a bit extreme."

"I have some pretty extreme students." Ozpin replied. "So, will he do it?"

"Oh, he says he'll do it." The man said. "He just want's to know if you'll send his 'supplies'."

"I'll have several gallons shipped to you." Ozpin said.

"Very well, he'll arrive tomorrow."

"Thank you, Kami." Ozpin said as he hung up.

This was perfect. With **him** teaching, they'll beg for Port to come back. He kicked his legs back and took another sip from his cup, satisfied with himself.

* * *

The next day, Beacon cliffs...   


Professor Port's former Grimm anatomy class stood on the cliff they shot off of during their initiation. Multiple questions were on their minds, the main ones being why they were on the cliff, and who the new teacher was. As they discussed their various topics amongst themselves, Ozpin stepped out of the trees behind them, like an evil master mind.

"Greetings." Ozpin said. "I'd like to introduce you to your new Grimm anatomy teacher."

Suddenly, a short man wearing a turban and baggy pants with pitch black skin appeared next to him. Red lips rested under a pair of unblinking eyes. He simply stared at the students, giving them a creepy smile.

"Class, this is Mr. Popo." Ozpin said. "He'll be with you for the remainder of your time at Beacon. Pay close attention to him and what he has to say." He then started to walk away. "I trust you can handle this, Mr. Popo?"

"Yes Ozpin." Mr. Popo replied in a creepy voice. He waited till Ozpin was out of earshot before turning to the students, his smile gone. "Alright maggots, listen up. Popo's about to teach you the pecking order."

"There's you, the dirt, the worms inside of the dirt, Popo's stool, Glynda, Ozpin, God, then Popo." He said. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, why do we have a peck-AHHHH!" Jaune screamed as he was thrown off the cliff.

"Enjoy the climb back up, b$# h!" Mr. Popo laughed. "Anyone else?"

Ruby started to raise her hand, but a glare from Mr. Popo caused her to lower it in fear.

"Good." Mr. Popo said. "Now, let's begin."

* * *

Later...

Velvet Scarlatina clenched her weapon, a spork, tightly as she quivered in fear. Several dozen alpha Beowolves surrounded her in a pit. Mr. Popo and the rest of the students watched from above.

"M-Mr. Popo, what does this h-have to do with Grimm anatomy?" Velvet asked, her knees shaking.

"Nothing." Mr. Popo replied. "I'm just bored."

"D-does this mean I don't have to-"

"Pecking order." Mr. Popo said, a dark aura surrounding him. Velvet's face went pale with fear when she noticed it. While she was struggling to find something to say, the Grimm lunged at her.

The students looked on in horror as Velvet, the adorable rabbit faunus, was viciously mauled. Mr. Popo on the other hand, simply smiled as he watched her get attacked.

"Alright then," Mr. Popo said. "While she's getting killed like the maggot she is, I need eight volunteers for 'extra credit'."

Immediately, all of the students stepped back, leaving teams RWBY and JNPR.

"Thank you for volunteering maggots." Mr. Popo said, his smile widening. "Let's go."

* * *

Later...

Both teams followed their monstrous teacher into a dark room. A red light was in the center of it.

"Mr. Popo." Weiss said. "I've never seen this room before."

"Oh, look at that." Mr. Popo said. "A woman who doesn't know any better."

"Hey, I didn't know about it either." Jaune said.

"Oh, look at that." Mr. Popo said. "A woman who doesn't know any better."

Jaune remained silent, to terrified to make a retort.

"Now, stand in the circle." Mr. Popo said.

"Like this?" Ruby asked.

"Yeah," Mr. Popo replied. " **Bye!** "

Suddenly, both teams disappeared. Mr. Popo, using his omnipotence, watched as they were attacked by Cinder Fall, the White Fang, dozens of Grimm, and a swarm of unearthly monsters. His demonic laughter filled the entire school, causing everyone to shudder in fear. Several minutes later, both teams reappeared.

"So, how'd it go?" Mr. Popo asked.

"It, was, horrible!" Blake said, shivering.

"I'm mentally scared for life." Pyrrah said.

Ren sat down and wept while Nora and Yang rocked back and forth constantly. Weiss lay on her back, her face pale. Ruby and Jaune sucked their thumbs.

"Good, because you're going back." Mr. Popo said, laughing. " **BYE!** "

"WHAT, NOO-"

* * *

I sat in my chair, looking at what I just wrote.

"Yeah, I'm not posting this." I said as I closed it. "I should have listened to Hero of the Multiverse when he said this was a bad idea."

I turned towards my bed to take a nap, only to see those horrible eyes staring back at me.

" **HI**."

* * *

 **Hey maggots, HaloGoji75 is preoccupied at the moment.**

 _ **HELP ME!**_

 **Shut up maggot!**

 _ **Yes sir.**_

 **So, I'll be the one who post this today. You better enjoy. And Her of the Multiverse. I'll be seeing you, and your pal Michael, really soon. Now then, prepare to be assimilated.**

 _ **NO, NO, NOOOOO!**_

 **BYE!**


End file.
